I posted something on my Instagram account last week.

People seemed to like it.

It went like this …

Main image: Hard truth. You are alone and responsible for making your life work.

Caption: I’m not your run-of-the-mill self-help guy. To be honest, most self-help is bullsh^t. It’s feel-good memes and IG posts. But the thing is, change DOES NOT feel good. Not even close. Change is f^cking painful. It’s lonely. It’s full of unknowns and unfamiliars. It’s a real ass kicker. Which is why so few people actually change. Because it’s hard AF.

Contrary to what you may have heard, change is NOT “ease and flow.” Change is the thing that brings you face to face with the very feelings you’ve been trying to avoid. The ones you distract yourself from feeling. Ironically, it’s the avoidance of these uncomfortable feelings that makes you feel good. And what feels good, you repeat.

SOME self-help gurus make is seem all too easy. So when YOU try to follow their “easy” and “flow-y” step-by-step programs and fail, you feel guilt and shame — not good enough, not smart enough. Because it’s supposed to be “easy.” If it’s so easy, you wonder, then why can’t you do it? Well, because it’s NOT easy.

Why haven’t you been able to do it? Because the people you’re going to for advice and expertise are full of it. Selling you a bag of goods that they don’t buy themselves. Unwilling to tell you the truth about how change is a real beeyotch. Afraid to say that you’re responsible for your life. Seldom admitting to how lonely the path to personal change can be. And selling you “easy” step-by-step plans that only treat symptoms but never get to the root cause of why your life isn’t working.

Self-help has learned a lot from the weight loss industry. Lose 20 Pounds WITHOUT Diet and Exercise has become Change Your Life WITHOUT Actually Doing Anything. Just send your thoughts to the universe, sit tight, and what you want will magically show up in your living room. Nah, that ain’t it.

There is nothing comfortable about change. While you have many reasons to change, you also have plenty of perfectly good reasons not to. Your brain is wired for a predictable life. And the path to change is not predictable. Change is a beast. It’s lonely. And it smacks you in the face with the harsh reality that no one else is responsible for your life but you.

There, I said it. Somebody had to.

This is why I love Steve Harvey. Because he tells the truth. He’s one of the few who’s daring enough to tell you that success is HARD; that on your way to the success you want, you may have to sleep in your car and bathe in a bathroom stall; that success is not a universal magic trick solely powered by woo-woo.

He keeps it simple yet real — believe in yourself, dream big, put in the work, delay gratification, take the hits, keep moving forward.

Believe in yourself. That’s where a lot of us get stuck. We’ve been so disappointed by our past decisions and failures that we’ve lost faith in our ability to set a course and navigate our own lives. Eventually, we feel helpless. 

If you’ve lost belief in yourself, I encourage you to set small goals and to start taking small actions toward them. It’s these small wins and efforts that will recharge your belief batteries and slowly but surely motivate you to dream bigger.

Little by little.

Today on the podcast, Steve Harvey shares how he built the belief he has in himself. And how you can too.

Source: MOT Push Through Moments | Motivational Talks With Steve Harvey

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