We think we want it. We say we want it.
Sometimes we’ll even throw our hard-earned money at it. We’ll hire the coach or the trainer. Have the healthy ready-to-eat meals delivered to our doorsteps. Buy a treadmill for the garage so we’ll have no … more … excuses.
Yet somehow, someway, we still come up short.
Because in the grand scheme of things, the goal isn’t as IMPORTANT as we thought.
Quick story for ya …
I spoke with Diane (not her real name) via Skype. She was a 60-something-year-old grandmother in Australia.
This was way back during my health coaching days. Diane had seen me on YouTube and wanted to speak with me about her struggles with weight loss.
Apparently, she’d been trying to shed 30 pounds since the Reagan Administration. You name the diet, she’d done it. Plus, over the years, she’d blown through a couple dozen health coaches, holistic practitioners, and personal trainers.
I found this odd. My intuition kept telling me that Diane’s struggles went beyond diet and exercise. Something else was going on here.
I was reminded of something I’d recently heard in a Dr. John Demartini interview. He said:
“Your life is demonstrating what your real values are. Any time you set a goal that doesn’t match those values, you’re automatically going to live with a moral dilemma. You’re going to beat yourself up. You’re going to wonder why it’s not happening. You’re going to be asking why you can’t stay focused. You’re going to be looking for outside authorities to motivate you. The key is to be congruent with your highest values, so you are setting goals that are congruent, so you confirm and achieve what you say. And you develop the habit of knowing and building confidence that every time you say something, you do it. The key is knowing what your values are.”
With the above in mind, I walked Diane through a Value Determination exercise. To find out what was really important to her.
After about 20 minutes or so, she determined her top five values — her core values — to be God, travel, family, community, and career.
With a big smirk on my face, I asked her if she noticed anything missing from her list of core values. After a few seconds of silence, she quite loudly exclaimed …
An a-ha moment, indeed. I mean, at no time during the entire Value Determination exercise did she mention anything even remotely related to health and fitness.
She wanted to lose weight because society said she should. But, according to her list of core values, there were about a dozen other things that she found more important to pursue. Plenty of reasons to put her health on the back burner.
The point is, when you set a goal that doesn’t match your highest values, you WILL sabotage yourself.
So if you’re setting a health goal for 2019 but don’t highly value health, things aren’t gonna go so well.
If you’re setting a money goal but you don’t value earning, saving, and investing money, it’s not happening.
But does that mean you should just give up on your dreams if they don’t line up with your values?
Nope, During next Thursday’s masterclass I’m going to not only show you how to determine your highest values, but I’ll also walk you through an exercise to bring your 2019 goals into alignment with them. It’s super simple and will light a real fire under you!
On today’s Finance Friday episode of the podcast, Dr. John Demartini expands on this topic, revealing why 99% of people who say they want financial freedom never achieve it.
You can find today’s full talk here.
Enjoy today’s quote. Leave a comment below and let us know what you think!