When it comes to dating I have 3 rules …
Rule #1: No second date if she shows up looking nothing like her profile pics. You’d be surprised by how often this happens. Have a good time anyway. Maybe we’ll be friends. But false advertising, ya know.
Rule #2: Never date a woman on birth control. It’s not a political, religious, or health thing, though I know cases may be made for each. It’s science. Google the “sweaty t-shirt study” to find out how birth control impacts a woman’s natural instincts for choosing a mate. Fascinating AF. Don’t shoot the messenger!
Rule #3: Never date a woman on the rebound, especially if her very-recent relationship was stormy and apparently unhealthy. Of course she needs love too. But nope. Not going there. She can have my empathy and my ear, but not my heart. At least not right now.
This last rule is kinda obvious, but, like the birth control thing, there’s also quite a bit of scientific research backing it up.
Here’s what’s going on …
When someone is coming off of an unhealthy relationship or bad breakup, the brain’s emotional center (a.k.a. the amygdala) is lit up with fear and stress.
When this recently wounded individual dives right into another relationship, the amygdala is still activated. And more sooner than later, he or she ends up living in a full-blown rerun of the previous relationship.
Again, this is hard science not my personal opinion.
And this doesn’t only apply to bad relationships/breakups but any negative experience, including businesses gone bad, failed investments, etc. When the amygdala is on fire, you get burned. Again. And again. And again.
Or as my main main man, Dr. Srini Pillay, says on today’s QOD episode:
“If you take the same activation into the next situation, you’re going to get the same outcome.”
Word up, DSP.
Click the PLAY button above to not only learn more about the science of rebound relationships, but you’ll also find out why your brain is NOT interested in your fulfillment. Turns out, it would rather you become a master at disappointment. Yikes.