I was only 10 years old.
That’s when Dad packed up his things and vanished into thin air. Not to be heard from for another 7 years.
No child support payments. Not a single phone call. Nothing.
Just here one day and gone the next.
You can probably imagine, at such a young age the whole situation was confusing AF. I mean, what kind of “father” walks out on his own sons? Was there something wrong with us?
Eventually, confusion led to resentment. Then resentment sparked anger. All of which I held inside.
And then college happened …
Everything I’d kept bottled up inside began seeping out. The littlest things would send me into a full-blown tantrum. Every so often I’d have what I called a blackout tantrum, where I couldn’t even recall what I’d said, done, or thrown.
This went on for years.
But at some point I started to realize that adults don’t have everything figured out. That they (we) make mistakes that we wish we could take back. That, most of the time, we’re doing the best we can.
As I learned more about my father’s upbringing and how his father treated him, I understood why he was the way he was. Why he did the things he did. Why he left us.
And as I’ve grown older, I’ve been able to see all of the good things that came out of his irresponsibilities.
Because it was his lack of child support payments that drove me to make my own money as a teenager. It was witnessing my Mom’s relentless work ethic to keep food on the table that showed me how to grind. And it was his lack of parenting skills that inspired my brother to be the wonderful father he is.
I’ve forgiven my father. And with that forgiveness came a letting go of a lot of the anger and resentment I had held inside. Once it’s no longer inside, it doesn’t show up on the outside.
I won’t say I’m perfect. I’ve been known to lose my sh*t on the freeway from time to time. (Seriously … if you text while driving, I kinda hate you.)
But I’m working on it.
Today on The Quote of The Day Show, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer returns to talk about the power of forgiveness and how much it can hurt us when we hold onto the anger and resentment caused by wounds from our past. In order to heal we must close the wounds.
Enjoy today’s quote. Leave a comment below and let us know what you think!