The transition was smooth.
I was only 17 years old. Already out of my Mama’s house. Living on the third floor of Maya Hall, the brick dormitory on the east side of campus.
Like many of my new friends, being on my own was something I’d looked forward to. But not all of us were ready for it.
You see, when I was growing up, there was a period of time when Mom was always at work. So a lot of the things parents often do for their children were things I had to do myself. Mom showed me how to do them.
I separated, washed, and folded my own clothes. Did all kinds of chores. (You have no idea!) Made lists and went shopping. Prepared simple meals. Earned my own money. Balanced my checkbook.
When I got to college, it didn’t take long to realize that not all of us were raised the same way. Many of my dorm mates had been set free without basic life skills. They didn’t know how to do anything because no one ever showed them how.
In hindsight I can imagine how stressful that must have been for them, what a blow it had to be to their sense of self-esteem. And it was all so unnecessary.
This comes up a lot in my Money Mind Academy discussion calls — parents having trouble letting go. Their 16-year-olds are still having their beds made and lunches packed for them.
Typically, at the root of this is the parent’s fear of disappointing their kids by asking more of them. Understandable. The number one fear most of us deal with is the loss of love. But I think one of the best ways to show children that they are loved is to show them how to take care of themselves. Because their parents won’t always be there.
After freshman year, fifty-percent of my Maya Hall friends were no longer around. You can guess where they were.
Back home.
Where things were easier and there were less unknowns. If only someone would have taken them aside and shown them how. Things could have been different.
Today on the podcast, Eric Thomas encourages us to show our children how to take complete ownership of their lives. Buckle up. This one is POWERFUL.
You can find today’s full clip here.
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